Man gets married, gives up trying to do anything about his ear hair

Man gets married, gives up trying to do anything about his ear hair

HARTFORD, CT – Neelkanth Basu, 31, has given up trying to do anything about his ear hair. He married recently and feels that he can finally stop living the lie that he has no hair on his ears.

“Honestly, I was just getting obsessed with it,” said Mr. Basu, an engineer at Honeywell. “These hairs never stop growing and new ones are sprouting weekly. It’s almost a full-time job, trying to keep my ears hair-free.”

“When I was a teen, there was not a single hair on my ears,” continued Mr. Basu. “Then one day when I was 24, I noticed the first one while brushing my teeth. I managed to pull it out with my nails, after about 10 minutes of trying. I figured it was a one-time thing but boy was I wrong. I found the second hair that night after I’d gone to bed. I immediately ran to the pharmacy and invested in several tweezers – big ones, small ones, sharp ones. That was the beginning of an obsessive cycle of checking and tweezing.”

“Within weeks I was carrying tweezers in my pocket and checking my ears obsessively. At work I’d frequently go to the bathroom to tweeze another errant hair. I told people I had irritable bowel syndrome, which was less embarrassing to me than my ear hair. Then I met my future wife, who introduced me to the joy of Nair – what a revelation!”

“Nairing my ears tamped down the obsessiveness a lot. I stopped checking obsessively for the day or two afterwards. It was liberating. But my perspective changed when we decided to get married. We chose a priest who happened to have seriously out of control ear hair. But he was the happiest man I’d ever met, completely care-free. He seemed to be loving life and I thought to myself I want what he’s got.”

“He told me that his life changed when he stopped obsessing about his ear hair. So I decided to just let it go, without consulting my wife. I had the priest put a line in our vows that she’d love me no matter how much hair I had on my ears. Neither of know Sanskrit so I’m covered in case she freaks.”

“I just feel free now,” said Mr. Basu, exhaling. “It’s like I’m finally stopping to smell the roses. Colors seem brighter, flowers smell sweeter. It’s amazing. This is my deliverance. This is my moksha.”

Mr. Basu has donated his tweezers & Nair to his local YMCA.

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Arp Laszlo

Hi, I’m Arp! I make comics and write about life as an Indian-American with late-diagnosis ADHD. I’m a self-taught and self-employed creator so I write a lot about art, learning, and entrepreneurial stuff that I’ve picked up along the way.

My stories are kinda weird, because that’s just how I am. My formative influences are Indian mythology, Batman, Tintin, 70s Bollywood, Ray Harryhausen, and Monty Python. There’s no way anything normal could come out of that, right?

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